He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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