does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
