Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
