dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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