i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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