I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
