The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
