I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
