using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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