He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
