i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How does it feel to date your dad?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
