I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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