guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
