So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
