you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize