I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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