He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize