I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Welp...herpes.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
