I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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