the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
