I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Shame - the story of my life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
