are you so shy because you have an std?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
