are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
