i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
