The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
