i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
