doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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