this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We need to rekindle our bromance
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
