sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
