just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
