He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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