Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
