I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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