its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
