Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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