so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He shit in the fireplace
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
