theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
