dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
