Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
