I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
