we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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