All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
