You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
