Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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