Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it was like his penis was on wheels.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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