dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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