I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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