How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
