you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
