OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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