So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
