Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
