I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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