That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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