i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
