What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
