I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Holy sore nipples Batman
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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