Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
