we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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