thus making me awesome and them whores
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
