dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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