Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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