you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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