he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
