Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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